One year ago I bought my house.
Around the same time, I was helping my parents get their house ready to sell in NJ. Around the same time, my aunt got sick and ended up in the hospital, and my mom flew fly to Arizona to be with her, all of us praying she’d be able to get off the ventilator and come out of a coma, not knowing what was the cause at the time. But we now know it was more than likely COVID. The blessing of being sick early on in the pandemic was that my mom still got to be there with her.
Early February was my birthday. My mom flew home, just for a day, so she could still take me to the Oprah tour in Brooklyn with Michelle Obama, a gift she got me for my birthday. It was the 2020 Vision Tour ー but no one could have seen what was coming in the year ahead.
She flew back to Arizona that night. And that Sunday they took my Aunt Meme off the ventilator, and she later took her last breathes with my mom by her side, hand in hand with her best friend.
Shortly after, my parents closed on their house. And a few weeks later my dad and I packed up the house my brother and I were raised in, the house my parents called home for 36+ years. Just my dad and I, and me convincing him to get rid of those last couple of things he didn’t need so we could fit the last haul in both of our cars. My mom, at the same time, packing up my aunts apartment and belongings.
The beginning of March was her celebration of life. We didn’t know it then, but it’d be the last time we’d see all of our loved ones for a long, long, while. We exchanged books (my aunt Meme LOVED reading) and my Dad and Uncle played guitar, as they often do when we are all together. She always loved that.
It’s a year later, and I still don’t live at my house. If you asked me then if I’d still be living with my parents while renovating the house a year later, I’d say, “I sure as heck hope not!” Oh and don’t forget to throw a pandemic on top of it. But now I know it’s time I’ll never get back, time I’ll be grateful for in all my years to come, time I would never have had with them otherwise. This is the most time I’ve spent with them since before preschool, likely, as they both worked and once we went to school my grandma watched us until they got home. A silver lining of the pandemic we never saw coming.
It’s a year later, and while I still don’t live there, I...
gutted the entire house myself, down to the studs
spent quality time with my dad, as we worked there together and it gave us something to do early on in the pandemic when we could do nothing else, and we had so much fun
managed a year long project ー one of the longest and most challenging projects of my life ー and design my house, and got to know my new friend, decision fatigue, very well
learned patience, learned to let go, and learned to be okay with imperfection thanks to delays, extended timelines and less than ideal situations (stories for another day)
This whole thing feels like a full time job and somehow I still managed to run my biz, my real full time job (because Mikey doesn’t work and this house ain’t gonna pay for itself )
Hopefully I’ll be in there in the next month or two. Just in time, I hope, for the world to get better so I can have friends and fam visit.
I remind myself of what one of my yoga teachers always says at the end of class: You’re never behind, you’re never ahead, you’re right on time.
When looking for my house, and most things I do in life, my priority was to find something and leave it better than I found it. I know I will accomplish that goal. And I, too, will be better for it.
Grateful for the journey, and excited for all that lies ahead.
– Amanda
And if you want to take a walk down memory lane and see how I got here, click on over to my post from last year (a nice little push if you’re self-employed and trying to buy a house).
